Supriya Joshi, 39, stand-up comic
By age 30, you should realise that no one cares about you as much as you do. Most 20-somethings are obsessed with becoming what the world expects them to be. They shrink themselves because “What will they think?” As I grew up, I realised that I was the only one who cared about this. So, if being cringe is authentic to you, be cringe.
Akshay Tyagi, 39, celebrity stylist
Turning 30 is a good marker to start checking your assumptions about people, and to not believe you know what anyone is going through, just from how polished or put-together they seem. People carry private battles, invisible responsibilities that rarely reach the surface. Your own lens on life is shaped by access, opportunity and experiences that not everyone shares. Offer grace before opinion and hold back on your privileged point of view.
Karan Tejpal, 41, filmmaker
A true 30s skill: To arrive knowing everyone’s name. It shifts the atmosphere gently. People feel acknowledged, conversations open more easily, the day flows better. Films are built by teams, not individuals, and small gestures of respect travel far, especially on long, demanding shoots. Mastering a well-timed, sly bounce from a party is useful too – no 20-minute exit tour, no dramatic announcements, no three extra hugs at the door. Learn to read the room, finish your drink, say two soft goodnights, and disappear.
Anjali Sivaraman, 31, actor
An underrated grown-up flex is that I always hold the door open for whoever I am with, and if someone I do not know is right behind us, I keep holding it. It takes no effort to be considerate. Sometimes you get a quick thank you, sometimes nothing at all, but it still feels like the decent thing to do. I always say hello and goodbye to every dog and cat I pass. Being gentle and kind to animals is a little power move in itself, and just very cute.
Amrit Kumar and Mriga Kapadiya, in their 40s, founders NorBlack NorWhite
Part of adulting means that you realise that not everyone owns your time and requires an answer on their schedules. It’s okay to respond when you are ready, or not respond at all if closure isn’t required.
Sohrab Khushrushahi, 43, celebrity fitness trainer
By 30, you should know how to make sleep a priority. As a young person, it is easy to think that lost hours can be made up later, like a sleep savings account. It rarely works that way. Everything feels harder when you are underslept, even small, simple things. This is not about being rigid or skipping fun plans, just not running on empty all the time. Getting enough sleep most nights makes a real difference to mood, focus, energy, and patience through the day.
Tillotama Shome, 46, actor
Look up more in your 30s, at the moon, the trees that are still left. Write a poem, not to be a poet but just to flex the poetic spirit. It’s the key to surviving the dystopia.
Gourab Ganguli, 37, photographer
As you grow older, you’ll find that small things help more than expected. Nice shoes and a good perfume can make an icy room a little easier to walk into. It is not about being fancy or trying too hard. You just feel a bit more put together, a bit more comfortable, and that changes how you show up.
Debjyoti Saha, 31, animator
My power move: Letting go of the many ways people pronounce my name or guess my gender, unless it really needs correcting. It still registers, but not every moment needs a correction or a full explanation. Sometimes it is easier to let it pass. Most people figure it out with time. It doesn’t have to become a whole thing.
Sarah Sham, 38, interior designer
I say sorry much faster now. Earlier, I could be quite stubborn, but these days, at the smallest hint of something off, I am quick to say it and move on. Life feels too short to drag things out or keep score. A simple sorry clears the air, ends the spiral, and lets everyone breathe. No bonus points for staying silent anyway. Another great sign of growing up, especially as you go from your 20s to your 30s, is not talking negatively about anyone from your past. Earlier, if someone wronged me, I felt I needed to speak up and almost prove I was right. Now I honestly just do not care. I just do not want to let that kind of energy anywhere near me.
Namrata Rao, 45, film-editor and director
By 30, you should be able to trust your body. If you need to pee, you go pee. Don’t suffer silently to be polite or prove a point. I’ve sat through long screenings, bladder screaming, then barely able to walk after. Street shoots were worse. One day, around Grant Road in Mumbai, the whole shoot derailed because I just couldn’t focus. I had to persuade a guest house to let me use their toilet. Figure out where the bathrooms are, or what your body will need. Preparation is power.
Maalavika Manoj, 32, singer-songwriter
Ambition is great, but life cannot feel like a constant self-improvement project. As you grow up, know when to stop policing yourself. There is pressure to be perfect, efficient, always on track, but let your hair down while you are young. Take risks, prioritise yourself, do some things just for fun, not because they are useful or productive. You are not getting this time back.
Priya Seth, 50, cinematographer
A good lesson to learn early on is to lead with empathy and trust; it usually gets better results than fear or pressure. People tend to do their best when they feel comfortable and heard. Creativity also flows more easily when things feel open and collaborative, not tense. Stand up for people below you when they need backing, and do not be afraid to push back with people above you when something feels off.
Radhika Agarwala, 41, artist
By 30, you should have set your own habits that shape your creation and your spiritual growth. For me, that means not taking calls or interacting with anyone until noon or 1pm, unless it is an emergency. Mornings are when I turn inward. I might be in my studio working, or sitting under a tree listening to birds, or walking along a river collecting stones and flowers, or simply being still. That time feeds my soul. It allows ideas to surface naturally and carries my creative energy through the rest of the day. Identify what works for you and set your habits around it.
Gia Singh Arora, 30, performance artist and filmmaker
Do not overcomplicate your to-do list. Just write the next three things, not your whole life. On tired days, a short list feels kinder. It helps you stop overthinking and just get moving. Sometimes you do not need motivation or discipline; you just need fewer decisions and one small thing to start with. Also, by 30, start including your parents in your actual life. It’s now an adult-to-adult relationship. Share real time together. Take them out, let them see what your days look like, what you care about, what makes you you. Make the effort now. They’ll become the support system you’ll fall back on.
Prateek Sadhu, 39, chef
For me, sharpening your knives at the end of the day feels oddly powerful. It is more than a chore. It is a ritual. There is something about taking a few minutes to care for your tools that speaks to skill, focus, patience, and discipline. It says you take your craft seriously. No one is clapping for it, but people notice over time. Sharp tools, clear mind, steady hands. It stays with you. And by 30, get the best mattress you can afford. Good sleep helps your body recover, keeps your back happy, and makes everything feel a bit easier the next day. You spend a huge part of your life on it, so it makes sense to get it right.
Prateek Arora, 35, artist and screenwriter
Turning 30 isn’t about growing up, it’s about levelling up. Find the thing you are obsessed with (something you do not mind spending years on) and go deep into it. Over time, that depth becomes your leverage. Your uniqueness, your skill, your way of seeing things start to stand out. When it genuinely feels like yours, that’s authenticity.
Smita Singh, 48, screenwriter
Garner the courage to choose your own safety and convenience. Do not be the good girl who will brave it out. It is not worth it. I moved my wedding forward by three months in 2006 when my workplace shifted from South Delhi to Gurgaon, just so I could get my company to move me to the Bengaluru branch, where my husband was. I had seen what commutes were like in an unsafe city. I was not willing to put myself in that situation again, so I chose differently.
Itisha Nagar, 36, psychologist
Do not wait for a heartbreak to get into therapy. Do not carry a trauma bond into your 30s. Late-night fights, the dramatic makeup, the intensity of it all can feel thrilling in your 20s. At some point, though, it just gets exhausting. In your 30s, you realise you do not actually need that much chaos to feel something. Calm is valuable. Overthinking every text is not.
Rema Chaudhary, 38, photographer
Never quote your fee on the phone. Even if someone pressures you to “just give me a ballpark”, don’t. Tell them you will share it via email. It gives you time to think and protects you from being cornered. If I could tell my younger self one other thing, it would be to seek out women more. Read their books. Watch their films. Study their work. Especially (but not limited to) women who look like you or come from where you do. Consuming women’s perspectives expands how you see yourself and might help you find your voice sooner.
Yasmin Kidwai, 50, filmmaker
As you turn 30, you should know the value of having things in your own name, especially as a woman. Financial independence changes how you carry yourself. It sets up the enduring idea that you can stand on your own if needed. More than money, it offers security, clarity and peace of mind. Over time, that independence becomes one of the strongest forms of self-assurance you can have.
Bhavna Kakar-Saxena, 46, gallerist at Latitude 28
Start collecting art before you think you are ready. Taste is a discipline. It is not about being fancy or elitist, just about knowing what you like and building on it. Over time, that instinct gets sharper. You notice small things, make cleaner choices, and trust your eye a bit more. Do not wait to be wealthy or completely certain. Just buy one work you genuinely love and live with it for a while. See how it changes your space and your mood. Starting early teaches you to trust your eye, sit with your choices, and not second-guess yourself every time someone else has an opinion.
Esha Amiin, 40, stylist
By 30, start dressing based on what mood you want to set. More than signature looks or trends, colour makes the strongest first impression. It kind of decides the tone before anything else, and does make a difference in how the look comes together. Build a palette of colours that not only work for you, but works for what you want to communicate when you walk into a room.
Rupinder Nanda, 39, one half of music producers and DJ duo Tech Panda X Kenzani
Part of growing up is being okay with delayed gratification. Not everything needs to happen instantly. The ability to sit quietly with your own thoughts gives clarity, patience, and perspective. When you are not chasing every urge or reacting to every moment, that sense of inner steadiness changes how you experience life and decisions. Another power move more young people could learn: Giving credit. Being able to openly appreciate someone else’s work, without insecurity, shows a deep sense of self. It reflects confidence, generosity, and clarity about your own path.
Kedar Santwani, 36, one half of music producers and DJ duo Tech Panda X Kenzani
Get into the habit of checking in and out of your work and managing stress before burnout strikes. It is easy to keep pushing until you are exhausted, but knowing when to pause is powerful. And develop the ability to visualise as early as you can. This means working out a clear goal direction and holding that vision steady to shape the path ahead. When the goals come from a genuine place, outcomes tend to follow more naturally.
Sarah Chawla, 41, co-founder/director, Nomads Festival and Magnetic Fields Festival
If emails are still a big part of your day-to-day, keep them short. Get to the point, say what needs to be said, and move on. No one has time for essays in their inbox. Clear, concise emails save everyone time and make you easier to work with.
Viraj Khanna, 31, artist/creative director, AK-OK
Take that leap of faith early, in business and life. Make the mistakes, figure it out as you go. Honestly, nobody is watching you as closely as you think. People are busy with their own stuff. One bold move, even a messy one, can end up changing your life in ways you never planned. And do not vape. It feels harmless at first, but then you are stuck in this endless cycle of trying to quit and starting again. Save yourself the drama and the detox.
Aarifa Bhinderwala, 37, pole artist
By 30, some of life is probably on autopilot. Check to see if you are still in love with what you are doing. Sometimes, when I’ve taught too many sessions in a week, I will put on a lovely outfit and dance for the fun of it, not as a teacher. It sounds simple, but it brings back that feeling. You have to make some effort to stay connected to your craft. Otherwise, it just becomes work.
Tess Joseph, 46, casting director
Before you turn 30, you must learn to step out of drama that does not belong to you. My favourite mantra is: Not my monkeys, not my circus. I say it all the time. Realise that you do not have to attend to every argument, emotionally show up for everyone. View your energy as currency. Spend it wisely.
Nikhil Mansata, 39, creative director and stylist
I urge everyone to leave the nest and live away from home by the time they reach 30. It’s a great way to figure yourself out, without the comfort of having everything handled for you. In making your own decisions, dealing with your own chaos, you learn who you are and what works for you. That is where the growth is. Another thing to do around the milestone birthday is to elevate your signature look. Figure out what feels like you and lean into it. Play around, repeat what works, ditch what does not. Over time, it becomes your vibe, and people just know it is you.
From HT Brunch, March 07, 2025
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