Mastiii 4 movie review: Masti se sar phod!

Director: Milap Zaveri 
Actors: Vivek Oberoi, Aftab Shivdasani, Riteish Deshmukh
Rating: 1/5

Here’s the life-long commitment terms that full-on film buffs use, in order to properly rate their professed love for movies — since they love everything they watch, in general, anyway.

One-time watch; and, repeat-watch. The latter, since history bears evidence, remains exclusive to madcap comedies, almost always.

That’s what the first Masti (2004), directed by Indra Kumar, was — to my mind, an absolute ‘mast-watch’. This is supposedly the fourth edition of that IP (after Grand Masti, 2013), Great Grand Masti, 2016).

In case you aren’t aware, given this film’s title, the characters say so themselves, looking straight into the lens, every few minutes, throughout this picture.

The last time on, while literally pointing their five fingers to the camera, announcing its next instalment/return, in the final shot.

What’s it about this genre/franchise, that deserves such lifetime fidelity? I guess it comes from the idea of marriage itself. That, in India, it’s somehow seen as something someone has somewhat been forced into.

Hence, the desi middle-age jokes that follow, all our lives, mainly about wives, and henpecked husbands. And inevitably, a mention herein, about Thai massages, and happy endings, after all.

Here’s what’s different about Mastiii 4, which is a sign of changing times that one must sufficiently credit the filmmakers for.

It’s the women in the second half of this pic, who get to cheat on their husbands, while the men must deal with it after all. Progressive, much? Hell, yeah!

And so the ‘mast’ men of Masti, as in, perennially in heat like wild ‘saand’/bulls, flashing condom packs, when their wives aren’t around — Vivek Oberoi, Aftab Shivdasani, Riteish Deshmukh— go around figuring, how they can sabotage their spouses from sexual pleasures, when they attain the same free passes to be temporarily single.

That free pass is called Love Visa, once a year, to “boogie woogie”, the secret to happy marriage, as Arshad Warsi’s character puts it — having similarly lived his life, summarily fulfilling his sexual fantasies. Perfect testimony.

Here’s the rub, though. While Oberoi, Shivdasani, Deshmukh —supremely fine actors, no doubt; how else to pull off such senseless shindig — have naturally aged as they must, ever since the first Masti; their thoroughly interchangeable, anonymous wives seem young enough, for me, as an audience, to ID them, if they’re legally adults.

Somehow this retirement/pension/MNREGA scheme to continue inhabiting a popular cinematic universe doesn’t apply to female actors they first starred opposite, over two decades ago!

I did notice Genelia Deshmukh in a cameo. Also, the well-paid Jacqueline Fernandez shows up for the film’s opening scene, and disappears altogether after.

Can’t recall if she was in any other Masti — I’ve seen all (including Mastizaade, 2016); just don’t remember any, and can’t bother to go back and read their reviews, either.

Since the characters brought it up, referencing Masti’s first part, I barely remember the line suggesting that the way to a man’s heart is not through the stomach, but right below it! Evidently, they’re proud of this wisecrack.

Be that as it may, glad to see the tables turn beyond the sex-starved middle-aged heroes, aiming to net gorgeous bodies, from multiple nationalities — allowing for newer men into the scene, likewise, aiming for their wives, instead.

Only, that once this starts, I’ve endured half the film already, scripted by the OG franchise writer-director (Milap Zaveri) and the British literary author and VS Naipaul acolyte, Farrukh Dhondy. What’s there to look forward to?

You know what? Tusshar Kapooor, as half-Bihari, half-Russian Pablo Putinwa, naturally adlibbing expressions as the completely clueless bloke, horsing around.

Which is what makes him a rather underrated comic fella, better known for the similarly mad, but far more successful, Golmaal series.

This whole lot, as a genre — Masti, Dhamaal, Golmaal, Malamaal Weekly, Garam Masala, No Entry, et al — belong to the turn of the century, when rando funny flicks hit the spot, with audiences, as a welcome break from cerebrum of the human brain.

Not that anybody asked for an advice. In the long run, the movies, mentioned above, I notice now, continue to work, if they had appealed to the kids then, first — Welcome (2007) being, mysteriously, the Andaz Apna Apna of the 2020s.

Masti, as a series, is a sex comedy, sadly (for the filmmakers). It’s hard to sit through its plot, throughout, yes.

But what if you broke up its funniest snippets as separate Instagram reels — Oberoi as actor Mehmood, or playing the hilarious mia-bhai  from Hyderabad, that scene about phone ghoomana, or the bit wherethe characters literally eat shit…

I can imagine children cracking up, like cray. The film is, anyway, fragmented enough like YouTube shorts.

That’s where this picture belongs, I think in my head, stepping out of the theatre — rightly contemplating breaking my head against the wall, instead; sar phod, for Mastiii 4. So much for the FOMO!