Director: Sameer Vidwans
Actors: Kartik Aaryan, Ananya Panday
Rating: 1/5
This supposed romcom has been stitched together with so many brand deals, involving corporate meetings that, I noticed, even the executive assistant (EA) of the production company’s CEO has been listed in the opening credits!
Good on Zainab Sood — as one notices endorsements ranging from a dating app, cosmetic product; to perhaps, even a multi-specialty hospital for an exterior close-up!
Half the film is entirely the longest possible ad for Croatian tourism, along with proper scrolls to index each location — the likes of Split, Trogir Port, Hvar, Vis Island, Lavender village…
These distractions are my only attraction. For, what else is there to observe in this film, until it breaks for interval, besides the two leads (Kartik Aaryan, Ananya Panday) — where the over-enthu guy is deliberately modelled to stay irritating, throughout; the girl looks decidedly blank, plus super-bored.
Imagine shooting five elaborate music videos for what could’ve served the same purpose as reels on popular Instagram accounts of either lead. It’s half-time yet, and the complete 145 minutes of sheer torture to endure still.
This is where, for a lay viewer, the sunk-cost fallacy might begin to operate.
As in, you cut your losses (given the investment of time and money), and leave — instead of going back to the screen to figure what happens next, with the desperately dumb, dull couple, that you couldn’t care less for, anyway.
The same point could apply to the filmmakers, since the picture seems so derailed from the get-go — did no one, at any point, figure that quitting, rather than going ahead, was still the better option?
Who’re these two Bollywood blokes, by the way? Hard to tell, besides how they introduce themselves.
The heroine’s done her masters in English literature from Delhi’s St Stephen’s College. The hero — every now and then pulling his shirt up to expose his abs to the camera — is a wedding planner, settled in the US.
The two meet at an Indian airport, heading, I guess, for a solo-trip. That’s how this Tamasha (2015), similarly set over a vacay, albeit in Corsica (France), begins. Where exactly do they meet at the airport, since you never asked?
At the bookstore. The girl’s written a novel titled Love in Agra. I think she was buying a copy of her own book, or at least got the guy to grab one. Which feels a bit like how I got into my theatre, despite most seats booked, and just a front-row stub remaining.
Only to find, as I entered the hall, that there were hardly that many people inside. Nobody in my row. Everyone did a no-show, after paying for their tickets? Good for them!
Must sincerely report here that, all those who were there, did return to their seats after the interval!
This time, for an extended top-shot promo for Agra, and the Taj Mahal, courtesy UP Tourism, including a romantic song set in the wonder of the world.
Which is obviously a great idea; barely executed in the past. What’s the song that plays inside the Taj Mahal complex?
Saat Samundar Paar, that plays at least thrice in the film. It’s an ode to the film’s lead Ananya’s dad, Chunky Panday, who appeared in the original, i.e. Vishwatma (1992).
Likewise, Choli Ke Peeche, from Khalnayak (1993), for when the OG Neena Gupta’s on screen. And the title track of the film Hero (1983), when Jackie Shroff’s there.
Eventually the entire soundtrack descends to a Bollywood medley, with such excessively self-aware homages that I guess the filmmakers forgot they’re even making a movie of their own!
Jackie plays the heroine’s dad; Neena’s the hero’s mother.
Sifting through the never-ending peripherals, what, really, is this film, calling itself “a ’90s love story in the 2025 hookup culture”, really about?
To quote further, “Jab baat apnon or sapnon mein chunne ki ho (When you have to pick between your own, and your dreams)”— the former must win.
That ultimate dream being for the lead couple to marry, while both wish to stay on with their only parent. Eventually, the hero makes a case for US immigration. The Don may not like that much.
Cinematographer Anil Mehta (Rockstar, Black, Lagaan) has shot this brand-collab showreel. Surely, at some point, he would’ve like to shoot himself too. As an audience, I did.
