When Mumbai-born Rashmi moved to Austin, Texas, she hoped to build a life defined by her entrepreneurial drive and her marriage to Matt. Instead, a simple photo on social media made him the target of “brutal” racist trolling. From being shamed for her appearance to strangers debating her “value” as a wife, the dehumanization was relentless. Speaking to HT.com, Rashmi opened up about the emotional state of being treated like “a piece of cattle on the internet” and how she finally found the strength to stop belittling herself. By grounding herself in faith and family, she is now standing up against online hate to show other Indian girls that they don’t have to compromise their light for anyone.
When did trolling start?
Rashmi told HT.com, “The trolling really started when I first started posting on
Six months later, Rashmi temporarily returned to social media, hoping that the tide of negativity had finally subsided. The initial response was encouraging, but the peace was short-lived. When they shared a romantic clip from their wedding, the atmosphere turned toxic almost immediately. While the video went viral, it was followed by “incredibly harsh” comments, which again exposed the cruel trolling she had fought so hard to avoid.
What was your initial reaction to the trolling?
“At first I honestly didn’t know how to react. My instinct was to just pull the post down, which I did, but really it can’t stop it. Once something goes viral, it takes on a life of its own,” the entrepreneur told HT.com. She owns an Indian restaurant, 7 Monks Cafe, and a hotel management company, Resso Hospitality.
He recalled, “What I remember most is how it made me feel when it was exposed. My phone started blowing up with calls and texts because so many people saw it. Friends, family, even people I hadn’t talked to in a long time were reaching out.”
Rashmi further added, “And as women, we are already very strict on ourselves. We are constantly told to lose weight, to look better, to be beautiful. But when thousands of strangers start pointing fingers at every single thing about you, commenting on your marriage, your looks, your worth as a person, it really affects you in a different way.” He added, “The thing that bothered me the most was that I wasn’t even posting about beauty or trying to be controversial. I was not giving an opinion or making any bold statements. I was just sharing a normal moment in my life. It was just a picture of me and my husband, and somehow that alone became enough for people to trash my looks, my relationships, and my value as a person.“
Rashmi revealed that cruelty often takes the form of baseless assumptions, with trolls saying that her husband was only with her for her wealth. Posts celebrating her bond with Matt were often commented, “He must be blind,” as strangers tried to pick apart her physical appearance.
“One comment that really stuck with me was when people started comparing me to the ‘Pot of Greed’ card from Yu-Gi-Oh. I owned a comic book shop so I knew about the game, but suddenly some people were posting cards next to my picture and making fun of my smile. I’ve always thought I had a sweet smile, and seeing thousands of strangers making fun of it made me incredibly self-conscious,” she told HT.com.
“Then the comments took a more weird turn where people started debating my appearance as if I wasn’t even a real person. Some people would say things like ‘What does he see in her?’ While others would respond ‘She’s not that bad, I’d date her.’ It felt terrible reading that because it was as if I had stopped being a person and instead became something that people online were judging and rating. It honestly made me feel like a piece of cattle on the internet.
How did you handle the intense trolling?
Dealing with the storm of unprovoked reaction from strangers is a tough ordeal, and for Rashmi, the weight of the reaction was too much. Still, he refused to hide because of the noise. Instead, she relied on the support of her family and drew strength from her faith to get through the crisis.
Through this journey, she came to a sobering realization: an open life on social media invites both kindness and cruelty. Speaking to HT.com, Rashmi shared that she is slowly adjusting to this digital reality and is choosing to focus on her purpose rather than the “unkind” voices of the internet.
She shared, “It took a lot of conversations with my family, my husband, and honestly, God, to make it work. When you post online, you open yourself up to the public, and that means not everyone will be kind. It was something I had to slowly learn to accept.”
“The thing that helped me the most was establishing myself among people who really know me,” said the US-based Indian expatriate. My family and my husband remind me that the opinions of strangers on the Internet do not define who I am or what my marriage is. “They see the real life behind the photo, not just a snapshot that people feel free to look at.”
“Over time I’ve learned to set boundaries with it, too. Sometimes that means stepping away from the screen for a bit, and sometimes that means choosing not to engage at all. You can’t control what people say online, but you can control how much power you give those words and how you choose to respond.”
Why did you continue posting despite the opposition?
Rashmi revealed, “I also had to remind myself why I started sharing in the first place. I wasn’t posting for validation from strangers. I was sharing pieces of my life and my story because I want to show more Indian girls that they can be whatever they want to be. You can become a doctor, lawyer, artist, actor or entrepreneur. You can build a successful business, have a great marriage, and marry a spouse who inspires you to grow and become better.”
She added, “You don’t have to dim your light for others, be petty or compromise to make people comfortable. When I focus on that purpose instead of the noise in the comments, it’s much easier to move forward.”
Rashmi’s message to trolls:
“To the trolls, I will say this honestly. You are seeing a small snapshot of someone’s life on the Internet, not the whole story. Behind every photo is a real person with a family, a marriage, and a life that exists far beyond a comments section,” she explained.
Her advice to other women:
Rashmi shared the advice she would give to other women. “If anything, the experience has made me more determined to share my story. Because I know there are other girls out there who are looking that may feel like they have to shrink themselves or fit into some narrow idea of what they should be. You don’t do that. You can create a life that looks completely different than what people expect. You can build a career, a family, and a relationship that will make you proud. And if it makes some people uncomfortable or gives them something to comment on online, it says more about them than it does about you/me,” she told HT.com.
What was Matt’s reaction to the trolling?
“My husband usually gives me space to process things on my own, but he has always been one of my biggest supporters, along with my parents. When everything was happening, I felt really guilty for dragging her into this. It was never my intention to make us some ‘controversial’ couple on the internet. Most of the time I’m just sharing about my restaurants, my businesses and my life,” she said, “but he handled it with so much calmness and support. More than anything, I’m grateful that he is proud to be married to a woman who wants to stand on her own feet and make her own path.“
“The way he reacted also reminded me of the kind of men I hope we see more of in the world. Men who encourage women to step up, who stand behind them when things get tough, who are protective when needed but who also give their partners the space to have their own voice and identity. “This kind of support means everything.”
How did Rashmi and Matt meet?
Reflecting on the beginning of their journey, Rashmi admits that their love story began in the most modern of ways: a dating app. At the time, she was recovering from a previous relationship and was hesitant to step back into the dating world. It was her mother who gently encouraged her to be open to new relationships.
Although she almost rejected Matt’s request, believing that she would eventually marry someone with a similar cultural background, Rashmi decided to take a leap of faith. That single “Yes” paved the way for a cross-cultural romance that she now describes as nothing short of amazing.
“Right from the first date, something clicked. We talked for hours, and it felt effortless in a way I didn’t expect. A few days later he did something that really stood out to me. He called me just to check in and see how my day was going. It felt spontaneous and thoughtful, and it showed me what kind of person he was,” she recalled during a chat with HT.com.
“Over time we kept building from there. We learned about each other’s cultures, families, and traditions. Instead of our differences being a barrier, they became something we celebrated together. What started as a date I almost didn’t go on turned into someone I had a chance to build my life with.”
When asked if there was anything else she wanted to add about her situation and how she faced online trolling, Rashmi told HT.com, “I think the biggest thing I would like to add is that the internet can make it feel like everyone has an opinion about your life, your relationships, and your value. But at the end of the day, those opinions don’t define who you are. Only you can define that.”
Also read: Italian calls out Indian woman who trolled her for marrying Kerala man: ‘Exposing our haters’
“For me, this experience really made me stronger in a weird way. It reminded me that the people who really matter are the ones who know you in real life. Your family, your partner, your friends, and the community you build around yourself.”
