Think Valentine`s Day, and you picture dramatic proposals and grand declarations of love. But the day is different for India`s queer community, who do not have the right to marry their partner or even the luxury to proclaim their love openly. Aditi Anand, co-founder of Neelam Studios with Pa Ranjith, founder of Little Red Car Films, and producer of movies like Bison, Paan Singh Tomar and No One Killed Jessica, shares her take on the holiday of love as a queer woman.
Aditi and her partner, Susan, were among the petitioners in India’s Equal Marriage case before the Supreme Court. She has co-founded and led a range of social initiatives –To Dharavi With Love, Rabies Mukt Bharat. Aditi and Susan are also parents to a son, whom they are raising within a loving joint family.
For Aditi, the definition of love is simple: “Understanding, and the ability to fully be yourself with someone.”
Aditi shares her Valentine`s Day plans
Revealing how she plans to spend Valentine`s Day, she said: “I am organising a protest, and Susan is being very patient with me.”
When asked how she is able to hold space for a celebration when queer couples do not have equal rights, she states that one must always hold on to joy, even in difficult circumstances.
“My grandparents lived life always choosing the fun road even in sometimes adverse situations. Days before we lost my grandfather he took off to Dilli Haat with his wife to eat Mishti Dahi, they still held hands in the back seat. I wasn`t always like this but I think I`m trying to be, life can be worn lightly! No one, nothing should deny your joy and fun. Reclaiming that part is also part of the revolution.”
“`Inqalab aa.ega raftar se mayus na ho bahut ahista nahin hai jo bahut tez nahin` – Ali Sardar Jafri.”
Aditi reflects on the non-legalisation of same-sex marriage
Aditi affirms that although the battle to secure the legalisation of same-sex marriage is tough, she will never lose hope. “Everyday I meet more and more queer people who are choosing to have families, creating their families in the way that empowers them, building lives and careers. Of course, there are challenges, but nothing there would or should make this community lose hope,” she says.
She cites her own journey as an example of being hopeful, while acknowledging that she is immensely privileged.
“Today, my son is the absolute apple of my parents’ eye – and not just my parents, but our entire extended family and circle of friends. He has his grandparents completely wrapped around his fingers. As I like to joke, my life has taken on the very saturated colours of a Sooraj Barjatiya movie. The hardest part came much earlier – before I told my parents what I had built for myself. There was a persistent dread that I was going to break them. In that fear, I ended up denying both them and myself years of being more present in each other’s lives.”
Aditi on the representation of queer stories in Indian Cinema
Aditi believes Indian cinema still has to figure out how to tell queer stories with depth and authenticity. She believes it is equally important to get queer people behind the camera.
“I think the standout films for me have been Moothon (Malayalam) and Sabar Bonda (Marathi). It’s nice to see stories where queer people are being people—they aren’t long-suffering, one-dimensional characters. Sabar Bonda is proof that true authenticity and diversity come with the people behind the camera too.
She also raises a pertinent question about the need for an Indian grammar to express queerness.
“Films have to do the very difficult task of creating our Indian grammar for queerness. Most of the words that we use are imported. We have to be able to have a language which is “ours”. I would not be able to explain this conceptually to my kid in Hindi without using words that feel really alien. How do we reclaim that language? That`s an important aspect of queer storytelling in India.”
