Growing up in the 90s in India in a joint family, away from cell phones, seems like a different kind of reality now. However, the reality of growing up is universal. I did not know which day it was when I was no longer a child. The Kannada feature film Don’t Tell Mother, which marks the directorial debut of Anoop Lokkur, takes shape from those spaces, memories and realities of growing up in an Indian family.
The premise
Premiering at the International Film Festival of Kerala, this autobiographical coming-of-age drama brims with quiet wisdom and tenderness. The film follows Aakash (Siddharth Swaroop), a 9-year-old boy, and his younger brother, Adi, as they witness both everyday acts of care and violence within their home and the school premises. Aishwarya Dinesh plays Amma, a stay-at-home mom who softly harbours her dreams of a side business, while Appa (Karthik Nagarjun) works in a family business.
Akash and Adi are bright kids, and they observe a lot more than they are aware of. Lokkur sets the tone with compassion and care, as the viewer gets to know these two boys from the moment they wake up to reluctantly go to school, to the time they finish their homework and fall back on the bed to sleep. Amma is always there, forever present like a shadow. The scenes never come across as repetitive, and move along with a striking rhythm, thanks to the sharp editing work by Pavan Bhat.
A striking coming-of-age drama
Working with cinematographer Matthew Jenkins, Lokkur’s framing is confident; he knows exactly where to pause, what to suggest. There is no wasted second in the way the film unfolds, even as it takes a while to present its central crisis. What is most impressive is the way in which everyday acts of violence and aggression are shown, never forced upon. Special shoutout for the period-specific production design by Aparajita Srinanth and Evangeline Jessica Williams, which adds incredible texture to the film.
Just as Don’t Tell Mother approaches a saturation point of harmless nostalgia, Lokkur takes a step closer and harnesses the gaze. Note how Aakash punishes Adi in the same manner in which the Maths teacher does in school. Or how clear the division of activities is in the household in a later sequence, when Amma and Appa go to visit the whole family. Lokkur simply shows, and that is enough. There are traces of Hirokazu Kore-eda‘s family portraits here, with sprinkles of the economical pace that is so reminiscent of Yasujirō Ozu’s works.
What a wonderful group of actors this film has! Don’t Tell Mother relies heavily on the child’s perspective and succeeds in extracting lively and nuanced performances from both Swaroop and Keserker. It never feels forced. Aishwarya Dinesh brings a great deal of humanity and heart as the mother who is also a woman, a wife, and a caregiver all at once. These roles are all intermingled, and she must face the stark reality of how her life is going to unfold. She can see it, and she must be ready. Right down to its deeply moving final moments, Don’t Tell Mother is a film that slowly yet miraculously settles in the heart. It will make you want to call your mother right after.
