to have and to hold

Sixty -five senior citizens have gathered at the Satvik Valley Resort in Loni Kalabhor village, about 25 km from Pune. Tourists mostly come here to visit the ancient Ramdara temple built on a hill, where Hindus believe that Rama and Lakshmana visited during their exile. But this is not a religious gathering. Nor is it a group of fitness enthusiasts who come to trek through greenery during monsoon. These are single people, here to marry each other, or to meet a living relationship, or a long-term commitment, as they live life after 60.

64 -year -old Arvind Karmakar, who works as an advisory export ambassador, as he says, “I hope I will find my Sita soon.” They have been looking for a partner to share their lives since 2021. “I got divorced in 2011 due to the difference in ideology. Since then, I have been a single parents for our only daughter,” he says. In 2021, Karmakar’s daughter moved to America, and she started feeling alone. “There is no one to talk about the basic things in life or to share something while watching a film or reading a book. I hope I will meet someone soon.”

Pune -based Madhav Damle Foundation, which works towards women and child growth, runs Happy Seniors, a matchmaking program for more than 60 people. They meet every fortnight, and claim that 90 couples have been helped to find companionship in the last 14 years. Of these, 14 have chosen in live-in relationships and the rest got married.

This is around 5 o’clock, as the attendees gather slowly, chairs are organized, but interaction is not easy; Many people seem frugal and women and men occupy the opposite end of the seating area. Some women are ready for a party, wearing heels and makeup. To say this, a woman thinks, “Let’s play some music and dance.” Happy Seniors team plays a Marathi song, and some women get up to dance; Some people join it.

One of the women, finds a puppy and starts playing with her and sings for the music sitting on her chair. Seeing him, a man, holding another puppy, contacts him and they slowly exchange laughter and play with puppies. As the snow breaks, a circle is formed and most have started dancing Garba. Drinks and snacks begin to roll as evening progress.

In Maharashtra, single senior, often alone when they lose family members, despite various challenges, are looking at the life of association in the years left by them. The World Health Organization has made a life expectancy for women in India at 69 years and 65.8 years for men.

Help finding associates

The founder of the organization, 72 -year -old Madhav Damle, says that working with elderly people in old age homes and ashrams for 12 years, he saw the emotional and social burden of loneliness. He remembers an attempt to take his life once a senior. Shaking from the incident, he decided to add senior remarriage to his care portfolio.

The concept faced resistance when they helped two couples remarried. “The children raised objections, and there was a stigma around the latter age,” Damle says, he said that they sometimes boycott by friends and neighbors or do not allow to participate in family rituals. If they decide the way they participate, there were disputes on property and heritage between children and remarriage couples. So in 2012 he began to suggest live-in relationships as an alternative, but, “This criticized people and political organizations who called it unfair in our society.” Damle says that a part of this process has been consulted in social ceremonies such as one in Ramdara, to help change people’s minds about long -held beliefs.

Hema Yadav, 39, director of the organization, says that he helps to draft a contract among partners who clarify them how they are related to playing. The informal agreement is related to daily interactions and responsibilities: daily, periodic and medical expenditure; Property rights; A physical relationship, and responsibilities for their own parents and children.

While there are some remarriage services such as Chennai’s Vasantam remarriage service and apps such as secondshadi, a service dedicated to senior marriage is rare. Anuband Foundation in Ahmedabad, which has now been working for 25 years, is one.

Acceptance and heritage

Dhayari, a Pune suburb, about 10 km from the city center, in the foothills of a part of the Western Ghats, 61, and Hemangi Batte, 54, 54, married in October 2024, they live in a 4,000 -square -foot bungalow, which Kulkarni captured with his first wife of 30 years. In 2021, she died of an infection related to a Kovid -19.

Bhaskar’s son, both were married, lived with them. “Despite being under the same roof, I was alone, because there was no one to share small things in daily life,” Bhaskar says, sitting next to Hemangi because they eat poha and tea for breakfast.

From the place of their huge living being filled with curios, a broad spiral leads to the bedroom above the ladder. There is a corner where Bhaskar’s first wife’s pictures live for four years, with flowers and a garland, almost like a change.

“If my children think that I have forgotten their mother, they are wrong. If he was my past, my reality, then Hemangi, which is my present,” they say. After marriage, his sons went out. However, Hemangi and Bhaskar were clear that none of the two were interested in each other’s property.

Hemangi had lost his doctor parents who used to run 15-bedded hospitals in a prominent place in Pune. Both his brother and sister have lived in the United States and Canada respectively, and took care of the hospital operations and administration. He was left alone after being alone in his 7,500 square foot house on the third floor of the hospital building.

A paper ‘Indian Badli: Living Arrangement of Indian elder: a major prophet of the satisfaction of his life, a major prophet of his life’s level of satisfaction, “says a paper published in 2023 in the BMC Geriatrics Journal.” Laying alone was associated with the low level of LS (life satisfaction). A husband or wife was associated with high probability with high probability. ” People with low life -satisfied people reported the symptoms of poor health and depression, found in a study conducted in India.

After breakfast, the couple moved to the verandah facing a mango trees. There is a swing and couch here to see the sunset. As they make their dogs domesticated, Hemangi says, “I have friends, but someone still needs to call someone his ‘home’ and ‘family’. While they were dating, she was in bed with a spinal cord injury, and Bhaskar took care of her, she says. He has hired the location of the hospital in an old age house.

Nilesh (name changed for identity protection), 65, ARetired Mumbai Police Officer, lost his wife in 2019. Their three children are married and live across the city, leaving alone. “I spent day and month without talking to someone, and retirement made it worse. I felt that I had forgotten how I make a sound when I speak,” he remembers.