When Sukanya Gupta first told her now-husband, Niranjan S, that she might lose her hearing completely, his response was simple: “Teach me sign language.” Six years later, that promise manifested as a heartwarming wedding. Telling her story to HT.com, Sukanya described her dual-culture wedding, in which the gap between Tamil chants and her world of silence was filled by her husband’s English translations. From a secret engagement to an Excel-sheet life plan, their journey reached a beautiful peak in the form of a wedding, proving that true partnership is about making sure your partner never misses a beat – or a vow.
Born in Kolkata, Sukanya Gupta moved to Bengaluru in 2020. While growing up, she was diagnosed with gradual hearing loss. Recounting her childhood, Gupta told HT.com, “I wasn’t born with it. My family first got me tested when I was 6-7 years old because I used to sit really close to the TV, and a relative flagged that I might have issues with seeing or hearing. At the time, it was borderline, not quite hearing loss, but not completely hearing. I didn’t find out until I was 14 years old, when I had moderate hearing loss, so I had to get my first hearing aids. When I was 23 yrs, we found out it was progressive, so it had worsened over time. By this time, I had severe to profound hearing loss.”
How did she meet her husband?
“I was looking for a social networking site, and came across an app that advertised itself as ‘not a dating app’. I met my husband there and a few weeks later found out he was also one of the co-founders of the dating app. He was in Bangalore, I was in Kolkata. And he flew down to meet me 3 months after we started talking,” Gupta shared.
Sukanya Gupta and Niranjan S’ love story:
Sukanya recalled how a shared love for dogs sparked their initial connection, but it was Niranjan’s response to her diagnosis of progressive hearing loss that truly solidified their bond. “I remember talking about dogs a lot when we started talking. And this was also around the time I had found out I had progressive hearing loss… and one day I told him I wanted to learn sign language because I might go completely deaf in 20 years or so, and he immediately said ‘Teach me too so we can still talk 20 years from now.‘”
Despite early scepticism from their families and their own initial belief that the relationship might just be a passing friendship, the couple grew serious very quickly. “6 months in, we got engaged in secret. Both our families knew about each other. I remember initially, I told my dad I would introduce him in a year, and my dad said, ‘We’ll see if he’s still here then.‘ His mom also told him not to feel bad when I break up with him. This was all in the very early stages,” Gupta recalled.
Once their families met, any initial doubts vanished, and the focus shifted toward building a future that respected their individual identities and cultures. “We soon met each other’s families, and my family loved him and his family loved me. There were never issues or questions about us being from different cultures or the fact that I was deaf. Both our families just figured we would get married eventually.”
Navigating a long-distance relationship required significant effort, but the couple remained disciplined, even mapping out their future milestones in a shared digital document. She told HT.com, “The first 3 years we were long distance… We made a life plan on an Excel sheet, which included everything we needed/wanted to do – from me finishing college, both of us saving up so I can move to Bangalore with my dogs, then getting married and so on.“
When Sukanya finally moved to Bangalore in 2020, Niranjan became her primary support system during a period of immense personal loss and transition. “He was there for me at some of the most difficult times of my life. When my father passed away, he was my rock. I lost my grandmother and two of my dogs as well in the following years. I don’t think I’d have been able to handle it if he hadn’t been there for me.”
Where did she get married?
She tied the knot in August 2023, on the same day they had got engaged six years earlier. They had wedding ceremonies following two rituals: one a Tamil temple wedding in Kanchipuram and, a week later, a Bengali wedding in Kolkata.
“Tamil vows, English translation”
Gupta shared, “I really just have good memories from the wedding. The temple wedding was incredibly inclusive (accidentally). The priest would chant to say the vows in Tamil, then ask my husband to explain it to me in English. So I could follow along with the rituals and would understand what was going on.”
She continued, “The Kolkata wedding actually made me feel married because I was used to seeing weddings a certain way and the rituals in the south were very beautiful but something I wasn’t completely familiar with. The only thing I felt sad about was that my father wasn’t there to witness it. But my mother, my uncles, my aunts, my cousins were all there.”
Sukanya Gupta on her hearing loss:
Gupta recalled, “My family got a lot of well-intentioned but ultimately bad advice from a lot of professionals. Time and again, they were told not to tell me I had hearing loss. When it was too late to hide it anymore, they were told to not let me get habituated to hearing aids. A really famous doctor advised my father not to allow me to get more than one hearing aid and to not allow me to wear it outside school, because otherwise I’d start acting deaf.”
She added, “Over the years, I would get my hearing tested every year or so, and every time we were told there’s a negligible change but ‘probably because of the machine’. When I was 23, I’d come to a point where I could understand when it was getting harder for me to hear, so every time I would go to the audiologist and get my HAs (hearing aids) reprogrammed. Then I figured even small changes add up, so I went through all my older audiometry reports and say that I had gone from almost completely hearing to almost completely deaf over the years. At the next audiometry, I flagged it with my audiologist. They had all my older reports on file, so I didn’t carry the physical copies. But when I told them, they told me I was overthinking without even checking anything. I kept pushing for it.”
However, she refused to give up and insisted that the medical professionals check all her records, “Even my dad told me to let it go. Finally one of the technicians said since I’m insisting so much, he will check it. And then they all had a look and panicked and told my father to take me to the neurologist to find out what happened. I went to, again, a very well-known neurologist in Kolkata, who decided to ask me in a very patronising voice whether I actually thought my hearing was getting worse or I just said it because the reports said so.”
She recounted, “The next year I was travelling the country to get second, third, fourth opinions. Many ENTs and audiologists started telling me I’d start to lose my voice as my hearing got worse and worse. They suggested a cochlear implant but I was too terrified to get it for a while. Luckily, my regular ENT surgeon who was recommended for the implant said it was my decision; if I didn’t want it, I didn’t have to get it. I still might in the future someday, though they’re (even HAs) very expensive and unfortunately not covered by insurance in India.”
The hurdles while growing up:
Sukanya recalls that her early education was marked by a lack of understanding, where she was often pressured to hide her condition rather than seek the support she actually needed. “School was definitely hard because I was told from all sides not to tell anyone I can’t hear or even ask for help (because hearing aids are like glasses, which is very untrue). My school and teachers knew but they didn’t know how to help me.”
The lack of empathy from authority figures often led to dismissive or even cruel remarks when she struggled to follow the curriculum or faced bullying from her peers. “I’ve had a lot of things said to me – ‘Sit down, you can’t hear anyway’ (when I asked her to repeat the question for the 3rd time). ‘What do you want me to do about it?’ (when I told the teacher I couldn’t follow the classes). Then there was a principal who, when I told her I was being bullied, said to me, ‘That’s the difference between you and me. You tell people your problems. I don’t tell people my problems.’”
Her experience shifted positively during her higher education, particularly during her B.Ed, where she encountered mentors who understood the nuances of living with a disability. She told HT.com, “Overall college and work was much better, by this time I had started to advocate for myself more. Then in B.Ed, I had the most amazing professors who were disabled or worked with people with disabilities. They were the ones who really supported me and helped me become a better advocate for myself.”
Gruelling job hunting experience:
Despite her qualifications, the job hunt presented its own set of unique hurdles, specifically with recruiters who ignored her stated communication preferences.
“The problem I had at work was usually during the interview stage or when job hunting because I’d mention in my cover letter that I was deaf and available over text or video call, not audio calls. But I’d still get audio calls and when I told them I’m deaf, they would mumble some excuse and hang up.”
Fortunately, once she moved past the hiring phase, Sukanya found that her actual work environment was filled with supportive colleagues and management who embraced her needs. “However, every single place I’ve worked at has been incredibly accommodating to me, from management to my teams, the families I worked with. So I got really lucky with that.”
What did she study?
Gupta has a BSc (Hons) in Human Development from JD Birla Institute and a B.Ed in Special Education (Multiple Disabilities) from IICP.
What does she do now?
Gupta told HT.com, “I used to work as a special educator, but in 2021, I decided to quit and start my own therapy platform. We provide at-home therapies for children with special needs, helping families get the support they need in a way that’s convenient for them.”
How much does she earn?
She added, “As for my earnings, since we are a growing startup, a lot of what the business makes goes right back into expanding the platform and reaching more families. My personal earnings are around ₹12 lakhs a year. It’s a comfortable amount that allows me to support my family and our two rescue dogs while I focus on building the platform.”
About her startup:
She runs a platform called Carely with her co-founder, Anushka. Explaining what it does, she told HT.com, “We’re a therapy platform that supports parents of children, teenagers, and young adults with disabilities, with the goal of helping them build full, independent lives. The idea came from my own experience growing up.”
Gupta’s message for those struggling with impairment:
“My biggest message is that you don’t have to ‘hide’ who you are to be successful or happy. For a long time, I was told that admitting I couldn’t hear would make me seem ‘less than,’ but I found that the more I advocated for myself, the better my life became,” she said, adding, “Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need, whether it’s a video call instead of audio, or asking someone to repeat themselves for the fourth time. The people who matter will accommodate you, and the ones who don’t aren’t worth your time anyway. Trust your own experience more than the ‘expert’ advice that tells you to be quiet. You deserve to live a full life exactly as you are.”
Reflecting on her identity and the systemic barriers she faces, Sukanya explained why she chooses to reclaim specific terminology. She told HT.com, “I use the word ‘disabled’ to refer to myself. I’m not disabled because something is wrong with me. I’m disabled because society isn’t built to be accessible, whether it’s the lack of insurance for hearing aids or the fact that people still insist on audio calls when there are better ways to communicate.”
She continued her powerful message, adding, “My disability isn’t a hurdle I’m trying to overcome; it is the lived experience that allows me to see the gaps in the system that others miss. I’m not a charity case; I’m a founder who is building the tools that should have existed all along.”
