‘Staying silent when you see wrong happening is also wrong’: reading between the lines of Chirayya, between what is said and unsaid

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There are many hidden messages in this series – it’s time we stopped and considered them. I’m repeating it here in case you missed it. This stirs something deep within me, and I don’t want even the slightest detail to be overlooked.

In conversation with HT Lifestyle, Nupur Dhakephalkar, Founder and Chief Clinical Psychologist, Center for Mental Health, Pune, explores the hidden layers of silence, PowerAnd conditioning in series.

Here are some inconvenient truths that may stick with you long after the series ends:

Families often take pride in raising “good boys”, but many of them are men who have not had the same upbringing. They think they raised them right, but the truth is that they never really knew their sons. This is one of the biggest blind spots parentingAnd this pride in raising an ideal son takes the place of awareness.

“The fault is not only of the boy who has committed the crime, it is the fault of every person who has brought him up. The fault of the mother who never scolded him is also of the father who has not taught him right.”

The entire family, who unknowingly troubled the boy and ignored his wrongdoings, is equally responsible for this crime.

Nupur Dhakephalkar said, “The series portrays families where harmful dynamics are normalized to such an extent that they are no longer recognized as abusive. It reflects what psychology describes as intergenerational transmission traumaBut not through explicit storytelling, but through modeling and imitation, emotional atmosphere and belief systems. Children learn relational templates by observing caregivers. When control, silencing, or coercion become embedded in marital dynamics, they become the default script for next generation.“

This doesn’t always happen court or the law that delivers Justice-Sometimes, families do that, and they should do that. In many situations, the first response to wrongdoing comes not from the legal system, but from within the home. Because justice doesn’t start in courts – it starts in the values ​​we practice at home, in the conversations we don’t avoid, and in the courage to call wrong right, even if it’s our own.

“Perhaps the most important insight of ‘Chirayya’ is that patriarchy Cannot be sustained by men alone. It is a system of roles – men are socialized into authority and dominance, women are socialized into accommodation and protection, and families function as enforcement units. As the show shows, change can’t just come from the outside; “It must be disrupted within the family system,” Nupur said.

It’s not just about women – men who see wrong and yet remain silent must also be held accountable for the injustice and harm women suffer. this is a strong message For Society That fighting against patriarchy is not just a woman’s responsibility, but understanding men should also support her.

We don’t need men like the ones shown in ‘Chiraiya’. From father-in-law to husband, father to brother and brother-in-law, all five men performed in the series. All humans are harmful to society. If we don’t want men like Arun, we don’t want men like him either.

I am not a man hater. But why do I always hear this – “Not all men, but why always men?”

In the name of family, legacyAnd love, women have been conditioned and misled in deeply structured ways, and we have been happily fooled for centuries. silence how is the society controls the; Voice is the way women reclaim. A woman’s voice is her strongest weapon. When it chooses to use it, it has the power to disrupt, question, and change society – and that’s what many people fear. Sometimes, change starts with action, not action. sound Who refuses to remain silent. A woman’s silence protects the wrong; His voice makes them think twice before crossing the border again.

victims Often they are too weak to fight their battles. Fear, trauma, and social pressure can silence them. So it is important for others to stand up for them and protect their rights.

Not only men, women too should be held responsible for maintaining the patriarchal mentality. Although men may have created this system, women often reinforce it. From shaping the beliefs of the next generation to normalizing certain behaviours, women sometimes unknowingly become carriers of the same mindset that limits them.

Nupur points out that even women within the family have been shown to reinforce these norms: a phenomenon known as identification with aggressive or internalized patriarchy, where associating with power becomes a survival strategy.

“The patriarchal system assigns women the role of emotional regulators of the family. In ‘Chiriya’, this manifests as maintaining peace at all costs, absorbing discomfort without protest, and protecting the family’s reputation over personal well-being. These are not random expectations; they are socially reinforced scripts. Women are raised to accommodate, to tolerate, to keep the family together,” Nupur tells HT Lifestyle.

Almost every family has a man who supports the wrongdoings of the boys of the house in the name of protecting the “honour of the house”. This so-called respect is supposed to be hard-earned – and somehow, the burden falls solely on women. But what about those men who constantly fail their family and its idea of bravery?

This statement shows how limited a woman’s world has been made to feel. Her life was never supposed to start on the last page, yet patriarchy has made her believe that she is small – that her needs are unimportant, she is weak, and her voice does not matter.

Men are not special, and being born a man does not make one superior. This may hurt some people, but it is true. Real masculinity is not about controlling or suppressing women – it lies in respecting, supporting and standing up for them.

Even a 10-year-old boy starts feeling like a protector when he is asked to go out with a woman. He may not see himself as a superhero, but he often sees the woman as a weakling.

Sexual consent is not a property right, which once given does not need to be asked for again.

consent This should be looked for every time, before any sexual activity. Nupur said, “An important theme in the show is this idea Marriage This is seen as giving automatic rights over a woman’s body. “It reflects broader patriarchal pathology: consent is assumed, not negotiated, intimacy becomes a duty, not a choice, and resistance becomes an aberration.”

Those who choose to fight for what is right and in the right way are often left alone – misunderstood, questioned and sometimes even opposed. But that loneliness doesn’t make them wrong; This just shows how difficult it is to stick to the truth when it is not convenient for others.

It is worrying that as society continues to deteriorate, movies and series are still repeating the same message. ‘Pink’ addressed consent years ago, and now ‘Chiriya’ echoes it again. This repetition raises an important question – why do these reminders remain necessary? Perhaps because the issues they highlight persist in everyday reality.