At first David Betesh did not even want marriage. Very showy and demonstrative. But three months after proposing to his girlfriend, he discovered that not only did she want one, but she also needed mini Yorkshire puddings with prime rib and horseradish cream at the event. He requested an ice sculpture of the couple’s two dogs resting in a cocktail glass. And he was very specific about the vibe he envisioned.
“Let’s say we’re on the Titanic,” he told his fiancée, “and we’re sinking and drinking champagne.”
A growing groomer economy is poised to make those dreams and more a reality.
The wedding industry, which has created a demand for everything from caged pigeons to rooftop flowers, is finally turning its attention toward men, and reminding brides of four important words: It’s his day, too. This season, expect groom’s glamor (hot towels and straight razor shaves), choreographed groom’s walk to the altar, personalized groom’s cakes, groom’s mood boards, groom’s concierge and, perhaps, The groom walked like cleopatra.
“We found that none of the grooms were really being offered any kind of service,” said Fletcher Cassell, half of the fashion label Tanner Fletcher, a New York brand that began offering more options for grooms three years ago. “The wedding industry is a sea of white dresses.”
Now sellers risk ignoring grooms. When Peter Petrella and his fiancée toured wedding venues near their home in Winter Garden, Florida, they were stunned by one site whose bridal suite had six couches, five mirrors, a connecting bathroom, and an outdoor space.
But the groom’s quarters? “It was about the size of a walk-in closet, it had a speaker and three chairs,” said Petrella, 28, a theme-park artist. He was told that he and his six groomsmen were not allowed to dress up on the spot, but could pretend to do so for photographs. Petrella noted this on his 52-page wedding spreadsheet. The venue lost sales.
The outfit changes and groom’s photo-ops are daunting for some, while others express their newly empowered groom’s voice through the deployment of personal themes. For example, golf.
For Shawn Fernando’s wedding at Adare Manor in Ireland last year, New York luxury event planner Marcy Blum helped the groom organize a golf tournament on the grounds of the nearly 200-year-old historic castle-resort. To play the course, on the site of the next year’s Ryder Cup, the groom divided the wedding guests into two teams competing for the “Fernando Cup”, with each side wearing matching jerseys.
Fernando, 43, who works in the tech industry and lives in New York with his video-editor wife, invested about $15,000 in his wardrobe, which included a bottle-green jacket for the rehearsal dinner, a black tux for the ceremony and a pink tux jacket for the “Pink Pony Club” party that followed. She ditched the boutonniere and completed her wedding day look with a brooch. “I’m not going to prom,” he said.
Some brides are still adjusting to grooms with high opinions.
“I thought he would just sit there and say, ‘I like the color blue,'” he tells Blum. But having the groom involved helps set a healthy precedent for marriage and reflects a desire to create a true union, she said. “You’re going to have kids with this person, or at least be with them for the rest of your life, so you don’t want to be one-sided. At least try to use this as a testing ground to see how well you can partner on things.”
Last year, Adler Marchand launched a groom concierge service in Fort Lauderdale. marchand, who danced down the aisle For Kendrick Lamar at his own wedding, the valet-turned-therapist acts as a sort of fixer. She raced to find ivory shoes for her errant groom and prayed to calm her irritable future husband. When a newlywed clashed with his wedding planner, Marchand helped diffuse the groom’s bad mood by driving slowly behind him in a golf cart and periodically offering water. The guests were none the wiser.
“Every groom needs a groomsman, I don’t even understand why it’s not a more common thing,” said former NFL safety Duke Iheanacho, who spent more than $2,000 to hire Marchand for his rooftop wedding in Los Angeles last year.
Bridal magazines have long graced the grocery aisles, but now there are publications marketed to husband-to-be. Southern culture magazine, Garden & Gun, recently distributed its first wedding issue to its male-leaning readers. Advertisements for the digital publication sold quickly, mostly to travel companies, while stories included a feature on a honeymoon destination with fly fishing and sporting clays. Its publisher Christian Bryant said that the title exceeded expectations by generating high six-figure revenues in its first three months. A promotional email announced: “A brand long rooted in bourbon and bird dogs is now supporting groomers, and it’s working.”
The next wedding issue of Garden & Gun will feature the groom’s cakes, which often appear at rehearsal dinners in the South. Cake artists have created special desserts such as a Yeti cooler cake with a fishing rod, a cake of Citi Field, a cake with ducks in the reeds and a cake with handcuffs and a shotgun.
The groom turned to Boston-based wedding planner Kerry Caterer Walter for decor inspiration, she said, a distinctive tartan, a herringbone fabric sample and “wallpaper resembling the scales of a trout.” One groom insisted that the invitations include a reference to the snickerdoodle cookies he makes with his fiancée.
An active groom leaves the traditional voices of authority – the mother and mother-in-law – conflicting with another decision-maker.
“Our clients, who are very sophisticated and smart, are going to be like, ‘This guy is going to be raising my grandchildren, and I want to make sure I’m aligned, and if I’m not, I better be careful,'” said high-end event planner Brian Rafanelli. “I’m the coach, okay? I’d say like, ‘Just take a deep breath when you’re worrying about the size of the butter plate.’ “
Of course, some men have always cared about the details of the wedding and have been at least as involved as the bride. And bride-groom marriages are a male enterprise through and through. But whether straight or gay, weddings are now designed to represent both sides of the altar.
When P.J. When Magerko-Liquoris and Jordan Millington-Liquoris married four years ago in rural southeastern Pennsylvania, they juggled whimsical and personal relationships. Moderator Deepak Chopra wore a jacket embroidered with images of the night sky on the day the couple met. Their weekend featured drag performances, a crystal bowl sound bath, a disco nap break, and 32 custom looks for the wedding party, including flowers, feathers, corsets, and hats. They were going to dress their white dog Miss Honey in fairy wings and send her ringing via zipline, but then they decided that would be too scary for everyone involved.
“I really hope that more couples will feel a more equal role in collaborating and having fun and exploring together,” said Millington-Liquorice, 32, a photographer and director.
Some grooms are taking it a step further, turning their weddings into personal branding.
Sam Noir, 28, who is planning his wedding party in Tuscany this summer, is compiling his own pre-wedding shot list. “People are in the bathroom and they’re getting ready and they’re dancing and having fun or they have a drink in their hand,” said Noyer, a New York content creator who recently found a niche online as a groomsman influencer.
Another groomfluencer, Ethan Lounsbury, 27, was stunned to see how quickly he made money from his social media posts for prospective husbands. He made more than $15,000 in a few months with content for a jewelry insurer and a wedding-betting app where guests could bet on who would cry first and the length of the best man’s speech. One such post was viewed 250,000 times in two days.
He is planning his July wedding in Columbus, Ohio. “Who knew I’d even care about colors at my wedding?” He said. “We’re pulling the wine pink red color from the bridesmaids’ dresses into my tie, and we’re incorporating it into the napkins.”
As for Betesh, the 36-year-old groom who had Titanic dreams: His fiancée, Rachel Hodin, was happy to see her commercial real-estate broker boyfriend invested in their event. Also, Hodin, 37, is a freelance writer who has written a history of his “Groomzilla” Experience As for Vogue, praise her golden taste. However, he rejected them in the flowery landscape, which he described as “minimal ’90s, minimal Japanese, minimal Charlie Sheen in ‘Wall Street’ vibes”.
“I can’t help myself,” Betesh said. “my opinion is.”
